The Null Device
2003/7/9
Germany's Goethe Institute is developing a campaign to rebrand Germany for the 21st century, getting rid of the old associations with either Nazis or beach-hogging tourists. The new brand will present Germany as hip, laid-back and sexy, playing up Germany's short working days, celebrities and events like the Love Parade, and is aimed at Britain and France. Though officials concede that Poland and eastern Europe may be tougher markets to win over.
As a public service to the lovelorn, a demographer has found the areas of inner Melbourne with the most single men and women. Southbank has the highest concentration of single men (and most of them drive Porsches), whereas Princes Hill has the highest concentration of single women (and most of them cut their hair short).
The front page of today's Onion has the following observation on the differences between the sexes: Woman Masturbates To Concept Of Commitment:
PORTAGE, MI--Soaking in her bathtub Tuesday, area resident Linda Marston, 32, pleasured herself over the thought of a long-term committed relationship. "Mmmm... oh, yeah, baby... I want to settle down with you forever," moaned the never-married Marston, as she gently massaged her clitoris with two fingers. "Oh, God, yes... two kids, maybe three... and a house in the country. Big swingset in the backyard." Several hours later, Marston masturbated again to the idea of loving someone unconditionally through good times and bad.